In society we often tout one of the best ways to learn in life, is from our mistakes. I often see encouraging motivational posters as well that say things like:
“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new,” Albert Einstein
“Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment,” Rita Mae Brown
“I’m afraid that we all make mistakes. One of the things that defines our character is how we handle mistakes. If we lie about having made a mistake, then it can’t be corrected and it festers. On the other hand, if we give up just because we made a mistake, even a big mistake, none of us would get far in life,” Terry Goodkind.
“Success does not consist in never making mistakes but in never making the same one a second time.” ― George Bernard Shaw
Looking at these rather positive quotes and how positive we put a spin on making mistakes you’d think it’d be that easy for people, ALL people to move on, one way or another with their lives, focusing on their present and moving into the future.
However, sadly that is NOT always the case. Too often have I witness people lobbing someone’s mistakes over their head much like a Guillotine waiting to come down or a Noose, slowly tightening, waiting to choke you out once someone kicks the stool out from under you. “One mistake does not have to rule a person’s entire life.”― Joyce Meyer
And it certainly shouldn’t rule a person’s entire life. Nor ruin the possibility of them finding their bliss and happiness. That being said though, there is a fine line between forgiving and moving on when it is something that can easily heal with time and if the person is truly repentant for their actions vs. someone who say, murdered your friends and family and shows no remorse. The guilty party may never move on – but that’s okay, that just means we have to be the bigger people, the ones to find our own closure and make peace with ourselves over those sorts of traumatic events. Sometimes we even have to make peace with ourselves when we have made mistakes that seem so simple as well (depending upon the person).
I know if someone cared very deeply and dearly for either their friends or family and they did something hurtful toward them, I’m sure they would feel a great sense of dishonor, grief, remorse and a desire to make up for their mistakes. If you can clearly see into the eyes, down to the heart of a person’s intentions and how they feel, we should know that when they make efforts to truly seek forgiveness and are utterly pleading with us to forgive them, that maybe they truly are repentant for their actions and are more than deserving of another chance. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” – Unknown
Too often are we our own harshest critics and if you’re like me, you often take things pretty hard when you know you’ve messed up big time.
So again, why must people still insist that when we DO seem to make a mistake, that everything we do should be utter perfection when perfection is such a lost concept to us anyway? Supposedly Spirit (God, Goddess, whatever you wish to call the higher powers that be) created us as not perfect because that is what makes us perfect. But we often see our flaws as bad things. Not something to grow and learn from. Guilt-tripping ourselves over the simplest of things or having others add to the Demons in our head, shouting at us saying, “You aren’t good enough. You will NEVER be good enough. You might as well give up and stop trying,” and having people add to that burden, helps no one (often resulting in some committing suicide because of other preëxisting conditions).
People often don’t take into account the gravity of their actions or words. It is time we START being more observant and become AWARE of what we say, do, think, feel and how we project those things into our world. If mistakes are truly intended to be learning experiences, than let’s treat them as such. Let’s not make the Mistakee feel like people might as well be throwing rotten food at them in a stockade wherever they may go. It simply does not make sense in what we are taught overall.
We also need to stop being hypocrites and OWN UP to our mistakes when we make them. Yes; it sucks knowing we screwed up, I know it does. But it’s better than an outright lie. And you aren’t helping yourself or anyone else by accepting a lie about yourself. The more we deny the parts of who we are, flaws and all, the more we show just how much we fear and deny to love and accept ourselves, perhaps others, maybe more. This stuff can affect you on many levels. Would you rather accept who you are truly deep down? Or deny it and pretend to be someone you most likely are not?
Sometimes there are harsh lessons that we won’t get unless a failure or pain accompanies it. When we remember we aren’t Saints and we acknowledge our true authentic parts of ourselves, that is when we can move on and live a life that is more in-tune with our true authentic selves, peace and can pursue our bliss, whatever that may be. If you can’t learn to let go and forgive someone, knowing they most likely made an honest mistake, I’m sorry, but you got issues with yourself I feel you still need to work out (we all have our own issues so don’t go there). There is no reason not to give someone another chance who obviously is deserving. So, get over it, MOVE ON ALREADY (This especially goes for those who aren’t even the offended party)! Otherwise you’re living in the past and you can never move into the present or look toward the future, cause you’re too stuck in one place and refuse to move (or change your perspective). If you keep dredging up the past, no one can ever heal and it will be like someone reopening a wound and pouring salt or lemon juice on the wound. Is that really what we want to do? (Depends if you are a sociopath I guess, but that’s another story)
That being said, I’m not trying to tell anyone how to live their life. All I am offering is some Food For Thought and hopefully helpful advice. You can take it or leave it. You have free-will, that choice is yours., but thank you for taking the time to read my article and I hope it helps you, someone you know, or a complete stranger you may unknowingly share it with. Thank you.
Before I do my usual blessings and goodbyes I’d like to share a few more quotes with you:
“To err is human, to forgive, divine.”- Alexander Pope
“If people refuse to look at you in a new light and they can only see you for what you were, only see you for the mistakes you’ve made, if they don’t realize that you are not your mistakes, then they have to go.” ― Steve Maraboli
“We are all mistaken sometimes; sometimes we do wrong things, things that have bad consequences. But it does not mean we are evil, or that we cannot be trusted ever afterward.” ― Alison Croggon
“Nothing is too small. I counsel you, put down in record even your doubts and surmises. Hereafter it may be of interest to you to see how true you guess. We learn from failure, not from success!” ― Bram Stoker
“We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.” ― Steve Maraboli
“It is important that we forgive ourselves for making mistakes. We need to learn from our errors and move on.” ― Steve Maraboli
“I am glad that I paid so little attention to good advice; had I abided by it I might have been saved from some of my most valuable mistakes.” ― Edna St. Vincent Millay
“But what if I make a mistake?’ Will asked. Gilan threw back his head and laughed. ‘A mistake? One mistake? You should be so lucky. You’ll make dozens! I made four or five on my first day alone! Of course you’ll make mistakes. Just don’t make any of them twice. If you do mess things up, don’t try to hide it. Don’t try to rationalize it. Recognize it and admit it and learn from it. We never stop learning, none of us.” ― John Flanagan, Erak’s Ransom
“Don’t confuse poor decision-making with destiny. Own your mistakes. It’s ok; we all make them. Learn from them so they can empower you!” ― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
“Mistakes are the growing pains of wisdom.” ― William Jordan
~Bright Blessings, good fortune and more be yours, Namaste~
Webpages used to help with the quotes:
Song that somehow started playing my head when finishing this:
- Forgiveness (nesapfich.wordpress.com)
- Blame – How to Take Responsibility (glaminglamor.wordpress.com)
- Forgiveness (talesofatallwoman.wordpress.com)
- Mistake? Is There Such a Thing??? (chrissopa.wordpress.com)
- Understand forgiveness and let go of grudges (motivateyourworld.com)
- When We Get Mature (alfisyahriyani.wordpress.com)
- Forgive (craigormiston.com)
- Without forgiveness, there’s no future (nesapfich.wordpress.com)
- 10 Lessons from Einstein (iamwakwak.wordpress.com)
- Your Most Powerful Leadership Tool (inc.com)
- Mistakes: Opportunities to Grow (letlifeinpractices.com)
- Why You Should Crave Mistakes [Mistakes] (lifehacker.com)
- Learning From Your Mistakes (liveforfriday.net)
- Let your past make you better, not bitter. (curlswithoutpity.wordpress.com)
- Second chances and forgiveness (weaselgal.wordpress.com)
- Learn from your mistakes! (innerpeace548.wordpress.com)