Today has been a rather interesting day for me. Today is a true MUSING for me today about life, myself and more.
I have been busy as of late trying to work and improve my writing style, work on my novel and trying to catch up with the television series “Heroes” where I had missed two seasons (3 & 4). What’s funny is – last night I had asked Spirit to try to use my dreams to teach me lessons more often than not so I could perhaps speed up my personal learning a bit (When I have Linear type dreams it’s a BIG DEAL for me because it is so rare and it means “Pay Attention“).
Emotionally I have been going through a great deal and trying to work through past wounds to heal and move on with my life as a better and stronger individual. This has been a struggle more often than not because I often feel so small and alone despite always being the “Rock” people turn to for advice and support. Even a Priestess needs her fellow “Priest” or “Priestess” to talk to though on the occasion and even the strong are entitled to their moments of weakness. After all, we are only Human.
Well, to keep a long story short I had a dream where I was in the Heroes universe where I had left off in the story, but the landscape was a bit different…
Now before you read any further there MAY or MAY NOT be SPOILERS. I’ll try my best to keep it from Spoiling too much if anything at all. If you fear that I may spoil something, don’t read any further. *cough* As I was saying…
In the dream I was there and I could tell I was supposed to BE one of these “Special Individuals” with abilities. This is when they are on the run in season 3 from the Government. We are out on an old abandoned farm in like a wheat field or something. There’s a barn nearby in dire disrepair that looks as though it is on the verge of collapse. There are five planes or so in the air and the others are looking up at them and I’m shouting, “Hurry! Come on! We gotta get inside! It’s our only chance!” as it was the only cover we had to keep ourselves hidden from sight or recognized. A handful of them lagged behind but I was followed inside the barn by one of them, I don’t know who. Peter Petrelli is a likely possibility. This is as far as the dream got though before I woke myself up realizing I had fallen back asleep after I had already hit the button on my alarm this morning to get up.
What’s funny is I’m going through another course of development in my life of learning regarding my relationship I’m in as well and the Purpose Fairy wrote a blog today about Relationships and again – I believe everything happens for a reason and obviously Spirit wanted me to hear them. I had a few things to mull over in my mind and reflect upon within myself today. My Mother and I had a meaningful conversation as well. All of this seemed to coalesce into one GIANT ball of Lord and Lady above KNOWS what, that I had to pick apart little by little to reflect upon as I weeded and meditated briefly today. The funny thing is – there was one thing that kept bringing me back to a state of calm and home.
All day today I heard the theme that typically opens an episode of Heroes called “Fire and Regeneration” playing in my mind. When I hear this song I get the “Psychic Chills“. As I said before it gives me this sense or feeling of bringing me back home. In a good way. A place of love, acceptance, where judgement is withheld until further notice. Like I have the power to do anything and everything if I can dream it, believe it, think it and know it to be true. It brings me a sense of peace. Like the Heroes in the show it humbles me in Spirit, making me feel like I am one of them just trying to be “normal” but looking to find my place in the world and how I can fit in and do my part to help change it for the better and give back to society. When this song plays it feels like for one INSTANT we are ALL the same. We are equal no matter who we are or WHAT we are. No one is above or better than the other. We are brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, daughters. We simply ARE and everything that IS.
I know we often say in our society, “One person CAN make a difference,” but such noble sentiments are often dwarfed by our own pessimism and negativity that rather overshadows such shining examples that may exist in our world. That is what is most sad. I know that all I have ever wanted from the start in my life is to leave behind a legacy of good deeds behind to my friends, family and the lives I may touch or touch indirectly. I’ve always wanted to give back because I know there are people in need. There are people hurting worse than I am, who have less than I do that I’d love to help if it were within my power to do so. Who need a friend or helping hand to believe in them and encourage and DAREthem to dream something more for themselves.
I have not felt so strong these past few months. Like Hiro Nakamura in the series, I feel like I just got my powers sapped from my body and I’m trying to find a way to restore that power I once had or at least learn how to be a Hero again without the power. That’s been the hardest lessons of all is trying to draw strength from a place that feels like it can’t give or refuses to give. This time and place is my moment of weakness. I can only hope that as I move forward with my life trying to put together my novel and volunteering my time again to a good cause that perhaps I will find that Hero inside myself again that doesn’t know the meaning of the phrase “Give up” but rather “Keep fighting because it’s worth it.” I know my partner has helped with this already.
Now I don’t want you all believing I’m this down and out because I still got fight in me. Like I said, the song “Fire and Regeneration” helps me reach for a better place to look to and hope for. It helps me to believe in a better world and place for myself and others to have hope for a beautiful future and more. After all, banality may be stronger than belief, but faith is stronger still and I still have some of that in me. So I haven’t lost all hope, not in the least. I’m just a bit too stubborn me thinks. Ha!
If I had to choose what my powers would be in the Heroes universe, I think I’d have powers like future Peter with the scar who can hold more than one ability at a time. Peter to me always seems portrayed as the Underdog very few have faith in, but he’s stronger than he appears and people give him credit for.
I’d like to share a quote from someone on youtube about the song, “Fire and Regeneration“:
When this kind of music plays, Mohinder narrates and video flashbacks play, it’s like letting someone speaking to your soul. It brings me to the state of mind where I feel like all of mankind is normal, no one above it, no one below it. These moments in Heroes are the best and maybe if there was more of this kind of spiritual healing stuff in TV, it might make people less violent, closer to morality and further from bad intentions in the long run.
~Quote by user luopio27
Nice to know I’m not the only one who felt this way and maybe they have a point, but who could know unless we made efforts to try? As a closing note I want to say, I know we all want to special. Technically we are. No one soul is like the other. We are all different based on how we were raised and our environment and how it shaped us. We all have our own unique set of talents and skills, some more developed than others. Despite how things may look in our lives though, especially when they are at there worst – believe in yourself and know that you can do this. This is what I’ve been telling myself everyday. You can do this. I know you can…
Thank you for reading and I hoped you enjoyed that little insight and musing of the secret world of my life as of present.
~Love, light, blessings and more be yours – Keep dreaming and believing – Namaste~
Special thanks to Youtube and it’s users.