So it’s been a bad day – not in the sense of any regular and NORMAL “Bad Day” – I mean a “Bad Day” for distractions. Ugh! I was supposed to start writing around 3 or 4 P.M. today. I was hoping sooner but wanted to take a shower and wash my hair first. That gets done – I have some Break-Lunch, watch an Episode of Burn Notice showing on T.V. and then think I might try to go outside to meditate, like I’ve been wanting to do for a while. I think better though because it’s already so late in the day and the shadows are now largely all over and it feels colder. It was only going to get more so as the day waned out of sight.
I come in, plug-in my flash drive, sit down. Check my messages on FB, real quick. Check my e-mail. Replied to a message from a friend on Witchschool International asking if I’d like to be a guest on their Radio Show to talk about my book I’m working on. Course I think that’s awesome so I immediately reply. After that well – I’m still distracted. By what you might wonder? Matters of the heart. No; I don’t have a Man in my life. I’ve been single since I believe, sometime this past May and it gets no less distracting for me when one of my biggest dreams in my life – is to find the one meant for me in this life.
I’m happy and comfortable being single – but that doesn’t mean I don’t, now and again, want to try and poke around in the “Waters of Life” hoping I might snag and catch a good candidate. I know I have friends interested in me – but distance is what keeps us apart and unfortunately – I’m really trying to avoid long-distance relationships. I’ve tried some dating sites like “Plenty of Fish” and even “Geek to Geek” but even those places don’t seem to fit me. I always get messages from people who either A) think “Too highly of themselves” B) Are Creepy C) Not my type D) Their just hitting on me because I’m attractive E) All of the above or G) They are good people, I can tell. Better friend material though for me.
While there might be “Plenty of fish in the sea” that Sea seems VERY vast and infinite. I’ve found far too few people who are worthwhile to talk to or that I find attractive (and it’s not because I’m shallow or have my standards set too high either – trust me – I’ve dated plenty variety). It almost seems like a hopeless search sometimes – but I still have my Faith and even good friends who care about me say, “I know you’ll find someone right for you” and I know and believe that to be true.
I am trying to keep this in the back of my mind so it’s not CONSTANTLY distracting me – but I do have to placate it a little in order to keep it under wraps. So what did I do? *sighs* Joined another dating site and one that I hadn’t thought of joining before but makes plenty of sense why I should have tried there FIRST in the first place. I’ve never fit in, in most places in society my entire life. I don’t even fit any stereotypes. You can try to label me like a can of soup, but I always have just a little something extra that throws the whole thing off! But the lifestyle I’ve always felt most “akin with” is “Goth“. Yeah, I know that’s funny. I bet none of you can see me as all “Gothed out”, but I can, I do, and I love it. The culture, philosophy, style, music, etc. I just like the idea of being “Hidden in Plain sight” to me that’s a better mindF*ck than anything and I love that kind of thing. It entertains me to no end. 🙂
I actually just learned today that “Gothic Culture” actually has “Stereotypes”. Who knew? I guess it makes sense though. I always wondered about some of those people who looked liked they were crossing two themes together but were neither “Goth” or truly “Punk” or whatever.
I’m sure some people right now are probably saying (if they’ve seen any of my photos. I’ve even heard people say this to me before), “I bet you could have anyone you wanted!” I’m sure I could to but I’m not trying to go out of my way to find “instant gratification” when I require it. Nor do I WANT just ANYONE. That’s the difference. I once did get someone I wanted and unfortunately that ended rather in disaster. I rather not go through that again. I’m playing for keeps, NOT to just screw around for “kicks“. I was NOT designed for that. Maybe it works for some people – but definitely not me.
Before this gets much more lengthy than it already is and I feel there is ENOUGH here about ME and NOT my novel or the progress I’ve made on it as it is- I’m going to stop this train-wreck here and say this in closing. I joined GothicMatch.com under HPLadyGwendolynn. I’d love you if you say I recommended you to the site if you join. Alright, that’s it. 🙂
Hope to be back on track very soon. Hopefully maybe late this evening/early morning. @_@
~Be blessed, be well, Namaste~
- NaNoWriMo: Day 9 – Fail Day (laith.wordpress.com)
- Goths banned from ‘Dracula’ graveyard (telegraph.co.uk)