I know what the title says and it’s true, this is my open letter to them – AND – to YOU. Yes you. That short and stout, the big and tall, the svelte and short, tall and svelte, the big breasted or too small to count (at least to those ignorant to think so) lad and lassie. I know your pains, for I have felt them too. I know friends and family who could even sympathize with you.
It sucks when you feel singled out in a world that caters to a supposed “Average”. You go to the store when it is time to find new shoes or clothes, but either something is too long, such as the sleeves or pant-legs even. Maybe it is the ‘bust’ on that beautiful blouse that’s in size “XS” but the bust you’d swear is “32C” instead of perhaps a “32A” like you feel it should be.
We cry, “It’s not fair! It’s not right!” because we shouldn’t be made to feel like we are anything ‘less’ for choosing to be who we are – or want to be. Whether that is aesthetics or personality. We also know people will say, “Well the world isn’t fair, don’t you know that!” and you know what? I think that’s a load of rubbish. I believe the world could be fair if it wanted to be, maybe even if perhaps we believed it to be. It’s just other negative people around us who keep perpetuating this negative notion that there is no “Fairness” in the world.
You have every right to feel angry and upset that you often feel singled out by the Fashion Industry and/or the Media. Even give them the “Ol’bird”. It’s really all their fault anyway. They find what they consider, “The Average” and make clothing to cater to it. Then it’s “One size fits most” and you know – you aren’t “most“. Your body is as unique as your personality, and you know that for a fact.
What’s also not fair, is for people who tend to run on the “Skinny” or “Svelte” side of things, they make our clothes based off run-way models whom many have been bullied into changing their figures or getting plastic surgery to fit the Fashion and Media’s idea of what “beautiful” is in the first place.
Maybe you were even told to “Go eat a sandwich“, even in a joking manner, only to find you thought it rather insulting because people really don’t know how much you’ve tried to gain weight but never have any luck. Or perhaps – you’re just built that way and happy with your size but find it very ignorant of them for saying such things without even asking you how you feel about your own weight – or why so skinny? in the first place.
Let’s not forget the Big Dolls and Gents. You are constantly bombarded with many of these same concepts. “You’re too fat! You need to lose weight!” maybe you’re just too big for that corset that should fit. People may be ignorant enough to think you are a slob, well that’s okay – because they don’t know you and they don’t know the half of it. Perhaps you’ve tried for years to lose weight now and all but given up.
Losing weight can be hella tough. I know because someone in my family has that same plight. If you stress, it can really slow down your progress in a day or night. Being made to feel horrible over your weight doesn’t help; if anything it makes it harder to feel motivated to lose that weight – although, there are some people motivated by negative-Nancys’ too. And sometimes, as much as we want to lose weight, we still slip and splurge anyway – eating what we love only to gain and remain the same.
It’s okay to splurge now and again, don’t fret. Keep your chin up. If you slip and mess up, try again tomorrow. Keep trying until it sticks! If you give up before you really try at all, then well – you just haven’t found the right motivation yet. If the weight doesn’t come off no matter what you do, try talking to your doctor, it could be a medical condition too. The same can be said for skinny people as well, in some cases.
Don’t feel bad or guilt yourself if you absolutely have to get Li-po (or some other form of weight-control surgery) to help give yourself a jump-start. Some people may have to if they have trouble and medical conditions that prevent them from losing in the first place. Never allow anyone or anything to make you feel less than your worth, I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that, just look to your true friends and family for their two-cents.
Again, it is the Fashion Industry and the Media’s fault for perpetuating this nonsense about what ‘True Beauty‘ is to start. Recall with me that, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” and that the ideal of ‘Beauty‘ has changed from century to century. Just look at Betty Page and Marilyn Monroe, they set the standards in their time for being ‘Curvy’ to be acceptable and pretty (and they were very lovely ladies).
Audrey Hepburn is one of my favorite actresses. She was truly a classic beauty, simple, elegant and classy. Again, she help set a certain kind of standard as well. And back in the Middle Ages in Europe, being overweight meant you could provide and were wealthy.
Again, what’s most sad is that the Fashion Industry and Media have this, “One size fits all” or “One size fits most” mentality and think it’s okay to leave behind the folks who don’t fit into their very ‘narrow‘ view of ‘average‘ or what they consider ‘beauty’ to be. These are our major nit-picks. We may have our minor nit-picks too, such as not enough color choices; or that they make all evening gowns for girls who are far too tall to be considered average; or taking a great and beautiful design but not making it in enough sizes or colors; or sizes not being what they are or simply not enough size variety.
Whatever the minor nit-pick might be, whether it is, “They call that Burgundy?! Are they color blind?!” or otherwise, these pale in comparison to the real issues at hand. That folks like us just want to be recognized and treated the same like anyone else. Smaller ladies may not be able to find what they are looking for in their size in the Women’s section and may feel forced to visit the Kids or Teens sections. They end up having to choose size over style. After all, the Kids and Teen sections don’t always carry sexy bras that “full-grown” ladies can or might want to wear, let alone outfits that say, “I’m sassy, classy, intelligent and elegant – so beware”.
And while we could take our clothes to be altered, trimmed, hemmed or otherwise – that costs money and it may be an extra expense some people simply can’t afford. Some of us may try to attempt to do it ourselves, but without proper guidance and training, we might wind up doing something regrettable to a favored blouse or pair of pants.
Fashion Designers & Media are disrespecting those out there being hurt by these “Standards” they’ve set, not to mention an extra market they COULD be catering too as well that they are ultimately missing out on making money from. While I may not be a big fan of feeding major corporations, this just seems like a big issue and I’d think hard to miss. I’m surprised most companies haven’t noticed and tried to take advantage of this market in some way. I feel they’ve shot themselves in the foot possibly for YEARS because of this kind of drivel.
So, to all you Ladies and Gents or whatever you may be, dare to hang on to those dresses that still fit for just a bit longer, those T-shirts, Corsets, Jeans or whatever they may be, because I know how hard it is to find something in your size. When you do, it’s just so hard to part with it because you never know how lucky you’ll be the next shopping trip of the season. And when we do find something, it’s like the ‘Holy Grail‘ of our fashion-sense taste-buds.
Remember you are beautiful, wonderful, FANTASTICLY awesome and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. And as for the Fashion Standards and Media, remember it’s all FAKE anyway and/or Photoshopped unless it states otherwise. Fashion and Media should be held accountable for their crimes – their crimes against Humanity. I know that sounds a bit ‘dramatic‘ but when you think about it, in a way – it is their fault so many folks, young and old, have self-confidence, self-image and other psychological issues that impede their belief – that they are beautiful, just the way they are.
Shame on you Media! Shame on you Fashion! And also, shame on those who do nothing to help uplift you but rather put you down! Shame on you, shame on you all!
Thank you for reading and I hope this helped to uplift some spirits out there.
~Infinite love, blessings, gratitude and healing to (for those who need it 😉 )~
Special Note: None of the pictures provided by this post are rightfully mine. Someone else made them and contributed them to the Internet community. All rights are respectfully reserved to those they rightfully belong to. I do not have ownership of any kind, I am simply exercising my freedom of speech and I certainly hope they don’t mind me using them in my post.
I’d love to give credit to whoever the images do belong to, so if you know who they are or they want to come forward, I’d be happy to make that edit and notation. Also, thank you for sharing these images and/or quotations, etc with all of us who surf the web.
Co-edited by – my partner. 😉
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